Kyle rules
by doingyourmom
Summary: Birthday fic for Wendsdalechedder. I thought he would enjoy this, I don't know him that well, but I thought he would enjoy. Kyle and Cartman fight each other over something STUPIDD Find out what.


I decided to make a quick birthday fic for WensdaleChedder, I don't really know the guy that well, but I thought he would like this. While this has blow jobs they are not shown just told about, no romance sorry if you were hoping, but WensdaleChedder does not care for romance. I know he likes Kyle the best so I made him badass in this fic, I gave his two other favorites Cartman and Tweek big roles to. I decided to make this just off the wall crazy because I think that is what Wendsdalechedder would enjoy it, he seems to be more into humor, so that is what this will be. Happy birthday to you chesse man.

Three boys, Kyle, Cartman, and Tweek were going to a strip club. Why they were going there and how in the blue fuck did they get there, the author has no fucking clue. Oh right, I just decided to have the three of them dress up as an one adult. Of course the guards in this are really fucking stupid, so they let them. Here it is, the story of how Cartman got his ass whopped by Kyle. Or as the little retard would say Khal.

"Okay Jew, Tweek, we need to find some STRIPPASA" Cartman said.

Kyle said "why why did I just not take Stan's advice, and just stay home". Then Cartman said "Stan is a little pussy".

"STAN IS NOT A PUSSY" Kyle said. "Sure your you little boyfriend is not a pussy" Cartman said. Then Kyle said "Cartman I am about to kick your ass".

Then Cartman said "why don't you make me".

Then Tweek said "calm down AHAHaHa Boys AHAHAH".

Cartman said "yeah because we need to find some strippaaasssss".

Kyle said "I am ready I guess".

Tweek said "I AM HORNY AHAHAHAHAH LETTSSSSS DO ITTTTTT! AHAHAHAH!".

Then three rasins girls walked up to the trio.

Alexis said "HEYY boys are you looking for a good time".

CArtman said "yeah I am".

Porchesa said "come with us boys, have dinner, it is free".

Cartman said "all right lets go".

Mercedes said "awesome guys".

Then Tweek said "well they are not old enough to have Stds yet".

Kyle said "good, the strippers would cost money to".

Cartman, Kyle, Tweek, Alexis, Mercedes and Porsche sat down to eat dinner. They ate their dinner, and enjoyed it.

Cartman said "that was great".

Kyle said "for once I agree fatass".

Tweek said "AHAHA I was hungry AHAHAHAH, I should have not drank coffee though AHHAHHA".

Then Cartman said "well thanks for the dinner".

Then Porecha said "we are still hungry but not for food". Then Alexis and Mercedes laughed.

Tweek said "are you hungry for dessert"

Kyle said "well if you want to eat more you can". Then Alexis tackled Cartman, Porsche tackled Kyle and Mercedes tackled tweek, and then the three girls pulled down the three boys pants and underwear. Then Porsche said "time for dessert. Then the three girls gave Cartman, Tweek and Kyle a blow job. I am not going to describe it because I don't think the author this is for likes sex scenes, but here Tweeks reaction "AHHAHAHHHHHHHHHHSHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHHAHHAHA". The three whores left to look for other dick to suck. Cartman said "that was awesome". Tweek said "it WAS AAHHAHA GREEEETATATTATA". Then Kyle said "mine was the best".

Cartman said "nuhahah Mine was". Kyle said "MINE". Cartman said "nu uh". They keep arguing until the next day at school.

Cartman and Kyle were in the classroom, with Stan, Tweek and Kenny there as well. Everyone else was gone on a field trip to a spa , the five did not want to go, because dudes who they don't know would be touching body parts THAT ARE TO NEVER BE TOCHED BY MEN. Cartman said to Kyle "my blow job was better".

Kyle said "no mine was". Cartman said "no mine was". Kenny said "the one Tammy gave me was". Cartman said "SHUT UP poor boy".

Then Stan said "who cares who's blow job is better.

Then Cartman said "well at least we got one Stan, you have a girlfriend and still cannot get any action". Stan shut his damn mouth after that.

Kyle said "Porche can suck dick way better than Lexus. ".

Then Cartman said "no MY BLOW was better".

Kyle said "look Cartman we should settle this me and you".

Cartman said "I agree Jew".

Kyle said "we should ku fu fight".

Garrison said "whOOOOO FIGHGHGHGHGHGGHTTT".

Then Kyle and Cartman went outside, with Garrsion, Tweek, Stan and Kenny following, for some reason Damien and dog poo were there for no reason as well.

Kenny said "who do you think is going to win".

Stan said "Kyle".

Kenny said "I say Kyle, but we will never know whose blow job is better".

Stan said "why do you want to know".

Kenny said "well that way I can get a raisins girl blowjob HAHAHA". Tweek said "I don't give a DAMN SONN AAHAHAHAHAHA My blow job is better. " Stan said "good god". Then Kenny started reaching in pants to masturbate, and Tweek slapped him. "BOY DON"T BE JACKING IT AHAHAHAHAHHA, only Stan can jack it in public" Tweek said.

Then Garrsion said "THE FIGHT IS ON BITCHESSSS!".

Cartman said "Jew I am going to own you, MY BLOW JOB WAS BETTER!".

Kyle said "I am going to prove to you THAT I KYLE B THE G, will show you that MY BLOW JOB WAS THE BEST, because I AM SQURITLE BITCH".

Cartman said "you not bad".

Kyle said "Oh I am bad to the motherfucking bone bitch.".

Then the fight started. Kyle punched Cartman in the mouth, the nuts causing him to bleed. Then Kyle punched him in almost every area of the body, so Kyle kept whopping Cartman's ass until Cartman was knocked out.

"WHAT NOW CARTMAN I AM SQURITTLEEE BITCHHHHHHHHHHHHH, IN YOUR FAT FUCKING FACE" Kyle said. Then Garrison laughed at Cartman and said "HEY THERE SHITTY SHITTY FAG FAG SHITTTYY FAG FAG".

Stan said "how can you tell who's blow job is better.

Kyle said "CAUSE I CAN SONNNNN, SO SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH".

Stan then learned his place and shut his damn mouth before Kyle whopped his ass.

Then the Porsche, Lexus and Mercedes came and Lexus said "to the blow job chamber with him".

Kyle said "oh I am off to get my pickle tickled, because I am the KOSHER BADASS HAHAHAHA".

Then Lexus said "we will back to give the fat one a blow job to, just later".

Cartman wok up and said "damn it I lost to the jew who has an STD".

Kyle said "come to me bitches, I am hard as a rock hard , hard as a stone I am squritle bitch"

The raisins girls took Kyle and all gave him a blow job.

The lesson in this story is do not be a giant pussy like Stan, be a man like Kyle, and let bitches suck your kosher hard rock dick. Kyle rules all, Kyle is now squritle bitch. Remember kids, blow job are awesome and should never refuse one, unless those bitches got the herpes, then stay far away. Cartman got his blowjob to, I wonder how Cartman and Kyle don't have an STD yet. Anyways there is no moral lesson, the only lesson is that Kyle is the master, and we are all his bitches. So for now later, and hope you never get an STD dbecause those things hurt like hell.


End file.
